The plan seemed simple enough: let her cry it out. Jen told me about it Sunday morning in the nursing room (which btw, is such a blessing. a flat screen to watch the service, rockers, changing table, sometimes great company, just lovely.) She told me when Garrett was about three months old they put him in the living room and let him learn to self-soothe by crying it out. She told me it would be hard, she told me I wouldn't sleep, and I may even cry myself. She was right on all accounts.
Dan and I talked about it and knew something had to be done. Grace has been an awesome sleeper since around 9-10 weeks. She wakes up once usually between 4:30 and 6:30 am wanting her pacifier and then sleeps until 8 or 9. This is what we are accustomed to. Not her latest ploy to exhaust us both to the point of tears. The last eight nights Grace has been waking up every 15-30 minutes wanting her pacifier. She stirs, we run in there, put in the plug, and the cycle repeats. At first we thought it was her stomach, maybe growing pains, maybe just her being a baby, but it all seemed to revolve around her pacifier. We decided we would try "pacifier bootcamp" and even though we knew it would be difficult, we both agreed we could be strong.
We put her down late, about 11:30, and at 12:15 I heard her stir. I put her pacifier in her mouth, thinking we should at least give her a fighting chance. At 12:28, she started stirring again, so I turned off the monitor and listened for her. She got frustrated, grunted, and then the crying started. It wasn't awful at first, I could tell she was just frustrated and I could handle that. Then the real crying started. It turned from frustrated to this awful, "how could you leave me in here by myself?" kind of cry. I started crying and Dan held my hand. After about 15 minutes I decided to go in and rub her back so she wouldn't feel totally abandoned and break into hysterics. Too late. I couldn't take it anymore and got her out of her crib, thinking I would just rock her back to sleep. No luck. We put her back in her crib and decided to let her finish crying it out. Around 1:10, she finally fell asleep and didn't wake up again until 6:30. We gave her the pacifier and she woke up again at 8:30. Much better. I am stressed about tonight and really don't want to go through it again, but I feel like we have to do this!
Any advice? I feel like a horrible mom!
5 comments:
It gets better each night...for them, not for you! BUT, YOU CAN DO IT!!! There will be weak moments for everyone, but you'll all be sleeping better in the end. Hang in there, sweet friend!
I am going to be no help at all, bc Coby and I get up about 2-3 times at night and put Camren's pacifier back in to! He isnt waking up every 15 minutes but he did at first. Nap times were the worst by far!! I would walk in there like every 2-3 minutes! Good luck!!! Just know you are not the only one awake at 2:30 am putting passies back in! lol
I know you don't know me, but I'm Sarah Kline's sister and have 3 kids. I agree with jarcarhar that YOU CAN DO IT! Miss Grace is going to keep waking up as long as you keep catering to her...wouldn't you? I did the cry it out method with my 1st 2 kids, but the 3rd was a bit trickier because she is sharing a room with her big sister so I couldn't just let her cry without disturbing everyone else's sleep and I had to get creative. If you feel like you can't take just letting her cry then try weaning her from your soothing her and giving her pacifier an hour at a time. Continue her bedtime routine just how you always do. The first night let her stir and cry for an hour before you go in there. It may take her a couple of nights, but she will start sleeping through that 1st hour and will start waking up an hour later when you come in. Then once she's acclimated to the new schedule push it back another hour and so on until she's completely sleeping through the night or soothing herself back to sleep. This may take a while to get her sleeping completely through the night, but she will do it and it might be easier on you if you are feeling bad for letting her cry. It is hard to do, but you CAN do it and Grace will be just fine.
i feel your pain! kamryn was just like that. but i guarantee you...a few nights of crying & it does get better. she'll learn & it will get easier, i promise! you are doing such a great job. i love you!!!
We had to do this with Bella too. And, it didn't take too long. Now, she sleeps through the night (8:30-7:45) since 6 weeks. It took a little to retrain her to soothe herself but now she's a champ at it! And, it's much easier on us to simply put her in her bed, let her cry for 15-20 minutes (although it's usually not that long), and she'll go to sleep. Since i'm a science nerd, the research I found from the American Academy of Pediatricians actually advise parents to let their kiddos cry for a little bit since it's their only way to releasing stress and to soothe themselves. Adults can talk it out or exercise or eat 5 gallons of ice cream (ha! Not that i've wanted to do that before!) but kids need that crying time. We go get Bella if it's longer than 15-20 minutes but that's rare now. I think it took us a week to 10 days of being persistent and now it's awesome. She sucks on her hand now. You can do it! I would go wash dishes or something to get my mind off of it. I'm glad i'm not the only mommy out there that has these problems! You're an encouragement to me, Ashley. Plus you're hot!
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