Tomorrow

(I wanted this post to be a little more cheery, but I would rather be real about my stressed out state than pretend everything is perfect!)
Oh my, the day is finally here. Some days I feel like this pregnancy has flown by and other days I feel like I have been pregnant for two years. Tonight it feels like it has flown by. I haven't had a melt down yet, but the tears are right behind my eyes ready to burst forth at any minute. This pregnancy is a stark contrast to my pregnancy with Grace. Starting at 12 weeks, I have experienced the most stressful six months of my life. Most of it had to do with the store and the new bridal show business I bought but the stress made the pregnancy stressful. I have felt like a broken record every night for the last several months when Dan asks how I'm feeling. I have had so much cramping, contractions, spotting, and overall not-goodness that I am ready for this part to come to an end.
I am stressed and have a lot of fear and trepidation about tomorrow. I am fearful that things aren't going to go smoothly, that something will be wrong with her, that I will lose too much blood, that my body won't handle the surgery well. I am remembering the pain, the spinal block, the bleeding, the air bubbles in my shoulder, and how much it hurt just to cough or sneeze. I am trying to remember the first moment I heard Grace cry, the joy of seeing her bundled up for the first time, our first time nursing... I know that all of this outweighs the bad and the pain is temporary, but while the pain is temporary, it is most imminent and I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous.
I am also worried about Grace and her little world that is about to be rocked. I wonder how she will deal with a new baby and the shift of focus that is inevitable. I am sad that she isn't going to be the "baby" anymore. People keep asking how she is doing and if she is ready to be a big sister. Right now she knows that Audrey "Cake" is coming out of mommy's belly tomorrow and that doctors are going to take her out. She knows she will be a big sister and that Audrey is going to sleep in her old crib (although she really wants her to sleep in her big girl bed with her). I have fallen in love with Grace even more this week, thinking of how she will be such a big helper and has the most tender heart. I know she will be an amazing big sister, I just want the transition to go smoothly for her.
I hope I sleep tonight. I am praying specifically for peace and at least a few hours of rest. I am praying my doctor has steady hands and a clear mind tomorrow. I am praying for my sweet Gracie girl and her new role. I am praying for our new family of four and that God would make my heart more excited than fearful! I am praying for my friend Jen, who will have her c-section immediately following mine with the same doctor.
Thank you for all the sweet calls and texts today. I want to talk about how excited I am but my heart is heavy right now and I just want this stressful journey to have a happy ending. I will say that thinking about the fact that my sweet baby girl will be in my arms tomorrow (and not beating me up inside!) does make me incredibly happy. Here's praying that all goes smoothly tomorrow and our sweet baby girl makes an easy and graceful entrance into the world! We are ready to meet you, Miss Audrey Kate.

Gracie the Songbird

Here you go Mom and Amber. Jesus Loves Me, Twinkle Twinkle (turn it up all the way), Itsy Bitsy Spider, and A,B,C's.

Mother's Day and Daddy Daughter Date

I had a really sweet Mother's Day with Grace and our family this year. We went to Tom and Beth's to eat lunch and hang out on Sunday. I got an awesome glider from Beth for Grace's room (she still likes to be rocked on occasion) and a new Pandora bracelet from Dan since my first one is full.
Grace made me the cutest little craft that said I love you with her hand prints (I'm sure Nana helped a bit) and after she gave it to me she insisted on giving it to her Papa.

On Tuesday Chik-fil-A hosted a Daddy Daughter date night complete with waiters, candles, tablecloths, and ice cream for dessert. Dan and Grace dressed up to go and had a great time. All week she's been saying she is going to go on another "gate" with Daddy.

Apparently she was very interested in the little fake candles on the table.

She loves her little cow and rose from the dinner. I have tried to throw it away three times but she gets very upset when I do!

My favorite quote of the night was when Dan told me having a cute little girl and no wife on your arm apparently makes you a chick magnet. Maybe it's just his stunning good looks???

Grace's PDO Easter Egg Hunt

Grace had an Easter Egg hunt at PDO and this video is too cute not to share. Before the kids went out, the teacher told us that each kid was supposed to get 12 eggs. I looked at her knowing full well my child was not going to stop at 12 and she said we would divide them up after the hunt was over. On the first afternoon, which is the one Dan took the video of, she would shake the eggs and throw down the ones that didn't have candy in them. That's my girl. On the second day she was super smart and bypassed all of the kids and ran to the farthest end of the playground instead of getting caught up in the crowd right inside the gate. Oh my, it was so funny to watch. The best part was Dan giving her high five afterward and calling her his over-achiever. When I told him the point was not how many eggs she got but whether or not she was going to share her eggs at the end, he just looked at me smugly and said, "I'm just saying. Our child is awesome."
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All the little guys in her class waiting for the hunt to start. JJ, Zayden, Oliver, and Harry.

Can we please stop taking pictures and hunt eggs??

Shower for Audrey and Grace

My sweet friends and sister gave us a beautiful little shower for Miss Audrey and Grace (at least it seemed like her shower too; she had just as many gifts as the baby!) It was so precious of them, complete with all of my favorite breakfast foods and amazing cupcakes!
Thank you to my amazing friends for such a great afternoon after an incredibly stressful day.

My hostesses and the side of the beautiful table! Amber, Wendy, Loren, and Tina

Nana, Grace, me, and Mimi

My beautiful sister

I hope it's not rude to pick a favorite gift, but this one sure was fun to open! Especially when I found out they have a matching outfit for Grace!

Loren made these adorable blocks for the nursery

Nana, Grace, me, and the amazing bowl of coffee punch. My favorite!!!

Sweet Brooke and Grace. They played and ran around the entire shower. So sweet

My sweet girl and her cheesy grin

Although you can't tell by her expression, this was one of Grace's favorite gifts, a Jessie doll from Toy Story. She won't stop saying "Yee-haw!"

Grace's adorable Minnie dress from her Mimi

My sweet friend Kristin. Isn't she beautiful? (You will notice our "skinny arm" trick that I used in most pictures. I am terribly vain and afraid of "fatty pregnant arm" so I try not to let my arm lay flat on my side. Kristin humored me and did her own skinny arm pose.)

My handsome hubby who doesn't seem to care if I have pregnant arms or not. He is the best.

Thank you again to my sweet friends and everyone who came. I love you guys and am so grateful Audrey gets to meet you soon!

Doctor Appointment Update part 3

I have amazing news!
I went to Dr. Atkinson last Monday because I was having terrible cramping and what I thought might be contractions. My Dr. wanted me to hook up to the monitor because she wanted to give me something to stop the contractions if I was having them. I was pretty uncomfortable and just knew something was wrong but of course the second they hooked me up all pain stopped. They even had to come in and buzz the baby when ten minutes before I thought she was going to poke a foot right through my belly. (Isn't that how it always works??) I only had a few mild contractions and "uterine irritability."
Since I was already there and my sonogram was scheduled for the next day they went ahead and checked me out. I 100% do not have placenta accreta like they were worried about! As a matter of fact, my placenta has moved up! I have not dilated and my cervix has not shortened from 5 weeks ago. The only issue was increased vascularity near the placenta, but they aren't concerned about it because they know about it ahead of the surgery and will be ready.
When I saw Dr. Owen on Thursday she was positively giddy. She showed me images from my sonogram 5 weeks ago and compared them to Monday and I believe her exact words were "This looks like a completely different person. Other than an increased blood pool, I have no concerns of an accreta." Praise God!
So I am still on the schedule for May 24th (3 weeks from tomorrow; are you kidding me?) and am counting down the days. Some days I feel ready but most days I am scared out of my mind and wish I had more time before her arrival. I am having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions, still a lot of cramping, and have to stay down most days longer than I am up. I hate not feeling well and want to keep charging but this baby girl and my body seem to do best when I am not stressed and off my feet.
Dr. Owen wants me to stop working on Friday (I will be 36 weeks), stay off my feet, and keep stress to a minimum. She will be out of town the 12th-23rd so the goal is to keep this baby cooking until then.
Thank you for all of your prayers and concern. I am so grateful for the peace God gave me as I have truly not felt a lot of stress about the situation. We are almost there!