If you are a male, or I suppose even a female, that is unnerved or bothered by words like breastfeeding, weaning, pumping, or milk supply, you can stop reading now. Or if you are a grandparent who only checks the blog to see pictures of the little miss, know in advance that there are no pictures on this post. I am saving you disappointment, really. You're welcome.
I.
Repeat.
Stop.
Reading.
I knew you really wouldn't stop. But don't say you weren't warned.
I have debated whether or not to blog about what may or may not be a sensitive topic to some readers but then decided that after a clearly posted warning and even a second chance to stop reading, ultimately it's my blog and I'll write about weaning if I want to. (Reference to 60's pop song clearly intended).
To wean or not to wean: this is my question. With Grace coming up on her one year birthday, I have some decisions to make on how our little miss will continue to be fed. I go back and forth on a daily basis. For starters, I don't want to be that mom; you know the one I'm talking about. The mom who has a talking, walking little one who can lift her shirt up and ask for it. Not to offend, but I don't want to be that mom.
I also don't want to be the mom who gives in to social pressure to quit nursing my baby when she turns one just because that is the "normal" thing to do. I love nursing. I will admit it. It is easy cheesey japan-eesy, convenient, free, and I love that it is something only I can do for my child. Especially with the winter months coming up and all of the sickness going around, a part of me wants to get her through this time with the healthiest option. Mostly, I know Grace isn't ready. I have tried the last few weeks to go from five feedings a day to three and I know she hates it. When she is around me, she claws at me and I know she is mad we have gone to three feedings a day. On weekends it is really more like four and a half but I digress...
But a big part of me is ready to stop for what I feel are selfish reasons. Mostly, I want my body back. I want my boobs to be my boobs again, you know what I mean? Feeling like a dairy cow on a daily basis gets old. I have also read and heard numerous times that when you stop nursing you have an easier time losing those last pesky five or ten pounds. That part sounds nice. I am also ready to quit pumping!! Can I get a what what? I have a love hate relationship with that machine and the freedom it affords me to not have Grace attached to my hip all day every day.
I know this can be a touchy topic, but talking it over with a few friends this week made me feel normal. I have friends who were never able to nurse, those who are still nursing their babies at 14 months, those who quit the day their baby turned one, those who have a "no talking or walking rule," and one who is still nursing her two year old baby.
I think mostly I am shocked to be the mom contemplating nursing past a year. I remember the first breastfeeding support group class I went to when Grace was a month old. Moms with babies of varying ages sat and shared about nursing- the good, the bad, and the ugly- and a woman with an 11 month old baby started talking about how she wasn't ready to give up nursing. I remember thinking, "dear Lord, just let me make it past three months. I won't feel like a failure if I can just make it to three months..." and that the woman was crazy. She must be one of those moms, who can't let go, the mother-earth, hippie chickie type that weans her child the day they start kindergarten. I am in her shoes right now and still haven't fully made my decision. I know EXACTLY where she is coming from.
I may change my mind next week, but as of the publish date of this post, I have decided to let Grace decide. (To a point. But don't ask me what that point is. I'm not sure yet. Clearly. Haven't you been reading this post?) To be honest, I am hoping that she makes the decision for me. A lot of my friends said you will know when she is done. Fingers crossed that happens to us. I hope she is before kindergarten...
Your thoughts? I was going to say that I forbade those without mammaries to comment, but if you have made it this far, comment until your heart is content. I am curious to hear what other moms are doing, have done, plan to do...
10 comments:
Sweet friend, isn't it crazy how our feelings change about things when there's a baby involved? I remember how crazy one unnamed mom made us both with crazy child-reering comands, er advice. :) I agree with those that say you're baby will tell you. Maggie went from going strong to truly no interest within a couple of weeks time. It was like she had a bottle of whole milk-cow milk and said um, yes please. I think its completely valid to want to endure the winter months still feeding her and if you're still at 4 feedings then that will give you a good amount of time to wean gradually.
And if its any consolation...I liked my boobs a heck of a lot more when I was brestfeeding...one of the perks of being a dairy cow.
I have no idea on this one:) Breastfeeding didn't work out with my girls, but I can only imagine the struggle you're having, there are times where I am sad that I didn't get to make this decision. I have no great words of wisdom except for to say that to just listen to your mommy voice and that sweet baby of yours. Good luck!!
Even though I've told you my story before....I support you 100% in whatever you decide. For me, Brooke got a cold at 8 mos and was so congested that she couldn't lay down to nurse, so she basically weaned herself and neither one of us ever looked back. I think you are doing a great job of listening to what YOU as a mommy feel, you know what's best whether you think you do or not. If you don't feel the time to wean is approaching as fast as you'd like at that time you can re-evaluate!
uhm, so I could have written this post...have you been reading my mind or what? The question of the hour, day, week, and month is to wean or not to wean. For us, we are still going strong (although i'm exclusively pumping and bottle feeding) we are doing 5 a day with intermittent finger food and baby food. (I just don't tell many people because it seems like everyone has an opinion on this...so your post was so refreshing...) I feel way behind in regard to the baby food/finger food issue. But I wanted to give her breastmilk as long as possible. And i'm also thinking about the winter months and keeping her pretty much exclusively on breastmilk. I think we're going to continue to increase babyfood/finger food over the next few months. I'm also trying to wait for that magical time when Bella will tell me she's done. It just hasn't happened yet...so all in all...girl, you do what you do...you'll look hot whatever you decide to do. =) I'm right there with ya on these questions and scenarios. We have her one year checkup tomorrow and i'm going to ask the doctor all about this. At the 9 month visit he said to not worry about the baby food/finger food incorporation to be "by the book" but just keep incorporating it when you can. I'll let know what the verdict is tomorrow...love you!
I know I posted a little blurb about this a few months ago when you mentioned something about weaning at a year, but I thought I'd chime in again since you're asking! ;)
Breastfeeding didn't work out at all with Caedmon, so I was right there with you on the "just please let me last a few months!" couch when Presley was born. However, Presley and I took to breastfeeding like old pros and I set a 1 year goal.
At 1 year she was refusing all forms of solids and still nursing like a newborn, so we kept going.
At 2 years she was nursing for bedtime and naptime and I was still comfortable with it, so we kept going.
At 3 years she was nursing once or twice a week in the middle of the night and I was done. I needed my body back and I knew she could handle weaning. It was a rough few days and then it was over. No biggie. Although, she does still ask me why she can't have ni-nee's.
Anyway, all that to say, do what feels right for YOU and for GRACE. Don't let yourself fall into the pressure on either side of the fence. There will be a right time to wean for you and you'll know when you reach that point and by the sounds of it, you haven't reached that point.
Hi there! You don't know me, but I'm a friend of your friend Traci... I'm up late rocking my 2 year old and blog surfing cause I have insomnia right now! Anyway, I want to commend you for breastfeeding 1 year, that is awesome! I breastfed my son until he was 18 months old and the day of his last nursing session was so hard for me, I cried and cried. I completely felt what you are feeling, the want to have your chest back to yourself and not feel like a dairy cow 24/7! When my son was about 15 1/2 months old (and it was past the winter/flu months), I was getting very ready for him to be weaned. He still nursed quite often, day and night, and honestly, I was tired and got this horrible creepy crawly feeling up and down my legs when he would nurse... very weird! So we slowly weaned over about 3 months and it was a good experience for both of us. He didn't put up too much of a fight about it, I think he was more ready at 18 months then he ever would have been at a year old. I am so glad I breastfed him as long as we did. It was a wonderful experience! And 1 month after he weaned, I got pregnant again! So I'll be nursing another come January!
Anyway, I tell you our story just to let you know that you it's ok to continue breastfeeding past a year, and yes there will be people who think you are weird or gross or whatever... but who cares! right!? Do what you feel is right for the two of you and do not let others sway you one way or the other. You will know the right time to wean, and when you do wean, just do it slow, don't rush it. Enjoy every moment of nursing your little girl, because when she's not nursing anymore you will miss it.
You are brave to talk about this on your blog, my mom, dad, and grandma's would kill me if I ever wrote a post like that on mine, lol!! Oh and I was going to mention... have you thought about stopping pumping during the day when you work and just nursing her when you're at home with her? Maybe that would take some of the burden off of you? Just a thought. And congrats for making it a year! That is something to be very proud of!!
I understand where you're coming from on all levels. Even though Keely is only 4 months old and I am not to this point yet, I think I probably will be eventually. My problem is that I have to pump three times a day. Starting out, I wasn't even sure we'd make it a month. But, we did, and we've continued. So, my goal changed to Christmas break. Then, I got into a routine and decided to try to go all year. I am getting tired of pumping, but I think I can do it. Now, I am thinking about weaning her over summer break, meaning I would go a little over a year. I haven't figured things out either, but I can tell you that pumping so much does get exhausting. I live for the weekends when I don't work and can just BF all day. Good luck with your decision. You are an expert on what's best for you and for Grace. You'll do it right.
I am glad that you posted about this topic. My baby is six months old now and I am already thinking about the day of weaning...truly dreading it and longing for it all at the same time. I had very similar perceptions about it before Gracelyn was born--not a chance I was going past a year. Now I find myself saying that I want to make to "at least" a year and maybe longer. My husband gives me a funny look now that my verbage has changed. Unless something drastic happens, I think I will watch for signs from Gracelyn that she is ready to move on. She doesn't even take a bottle now...only the woobie so we are super engrained in it. Listen to your heart on the matter. God will give you an abundance of wisdom...He leads gently those with little ones.
Mindy
I feel like there is tons of great advice on here and I will just say one thing more. I totally gave into social pressure with Keadryn at one year. it sucked. don't do it for that reason. Sayla is still nursing once a day and I feel more in control of the situation, like taking the social pressure out of it has been a huge relief.
Hey Girl! With Coralyn, at a year I went to nursing only at night for bed time and early morning. During the day we did whole milk... We did this for a few months, then went to just early morning. She would wake up at like 5 and with nursing she would go back to sleep so I could sleep till my alarm went off.
With Amelia, I plan on doing the same thing...Amelia is taking to the sippy cup a lot less then Coralyn did at this age. I might go past a year with Amelia, for nursing during the day. I HATE pumping so we will see...
Do what is right for you and your family.... Let the world think what they may...
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